Archive for December, 2010

Resolutions

Sunday, December 19th, 2010

In the spirit of a new year, below are a few New Year’s resolution suggestions for certain people:

Brett Perve might resolve not to be such a Farve in the coming year.

Alberto Contador, 2010 Tour de France winner “allegedly,” should seriously consider resolving to be vegetarian.

On a similar note, it seems the world of professional table tennis has been rocked by the news of its own elite athletes taking similar, illegal risks as cyclists to get that competitive edge. One might wonder, how is a quad shot not enough?

New Florida Gators football coach Will Muschamp is likely resolving not to match his predecessor’s record of players arrested. Really, how hard can it be to hold the team to less than 30 in six-ish seasons? Harder than you might believe. Georgia had no less than 11 player arrests in 2010 alone.

Graham Watson, photographer to the cycling stars, could resolve not to be so passive-aggressive. Not so much a Greg LeMond fan, Watson begrudgingly “fixed” his sly bit of name-calling. WARNING: If you’re offended by the ish word (sh*t if you’re not up on the urban slang), don’t click on the link.

BAD-ASS IN STRIPES: Dying to know if Central Hockey League linesman Kai Magnussen, a former CHL player, has resolved to expand his repertoire of the perfect comeback, or if it’s all good.

Magnussen played 120 career CHL games (159 PIMs and god knows how many off-sides) with Tulsa and Rocky Mountain from 2007-09. Considering some of the charm I heard when I officiated the league I played in, I’m betting the man has adopted a self-deprecating sense of humor to go with requisite thick skin.

POWER FOODS: Prickly pear margaritas should be the undisputed drink of choice for hard-core athlete partiers the likes of rugby players, hockey players, and mountain bikers. Studies indicate prickly pears help stave off hangovers and delayed-onset muscle soreness (the sort you get the second day after a super intense workout). Don’t let the magenta color put off you burly types.

The Albuquerque “Sun[air]port” sells scorpion-flavored lollypops. Ingredients: malic acid, scorpion, artificial flavor, artificial color. My question is, does the lollypop company breed scorpions specifically for the candy? And they breed them for flavor? Apparently, they’re real. But ya don’t exactly want your little ones running around the desert catching them for you. (That’d be child labor, silly.)

WHO’S A MILLIONARE? For those of you into horse racing – you know who you are if you placed a bet on Mine That Bird just because of the New Mexico tie and now you’re a freaking millionaire – a movie based on the race will be filmed in New Mexico.

TIMBITS: Saw these crazy wheel thingies in Spain this past May. Took ‘em six months to show up in Albuquerque. Tip up onto one under each shoe, then rubberleg your merry way down the sidewalk.

Albuquerque’s very own Canadian, Olympic mountain biker Geoff Kabush, talks about the 2012 Olympics, thinning hair and other considerations. In November, Kabush took first in the late-season New Belgium Cup in Colorado.