Down Time

August 2nd, 2010

World Cup soccer is long over, the Tour de France is finished - what to do, what to do? I liken this state of withdrawal to an addiction. Symptoms include crooning pathetically, “I’m going to diiiie,” as i writhe on the living room floor, unable to fill the entertainment void, pull myself together, and get on with my post-Tour life.

I’ve kept a journal. Here are things I learned during the Tour de France:

If you have trouble regulating your core temperature while cycling, swallow an expensive little thermometer capsule - and hold strong coffee intake to a minimum. The capsule alerts your team manager when your core temp gets too high. When it does, he can drive up next to you and hand out pantyhose stuffed with ice cubes you can slide inside the back of your jersey to cool down. Aaaah.

HOT DOG: On a hella tough stage when his teammate, Andy Schleck, needed Jens Voigt to work hard, Voigt burned 6,000 calories in a single day. Six THOUSAND. One of the commentators said that’s as many calories as most of us burn in a month of exercise. “No way!” I thought. Then i did the math.

Three or four super-size meal deals at his favorite fast-food chain oughta replenish those calories lickety-split.

TRAIL BLAZING: Each year, a friend of mine asks if anyone in the Tour de France is Black and each year, i tell her no. However, one of the very first, very best cycling sprinters of all time was an African American named Major Taylor. The son of a slave, Taylor won the 1899 World Championship “oval” (track) competition and another track competition in France in 1906. Wonder how he’d fare against Cavendish….

Much more recently, African American Erik Saunders competed in the Tour de Georgia in 2003 and ‘04 and there was a Black man in the 2010 Tour de France if you count Joshua Rosby. The winner of a TdF contest to ride the route with Bob Roll, Rosby turns out to be a competitive cyclist living in Baton Rouge.

Yukiya Arashiro was the lone Japanese rider in the Tour de France and (appropriately named) Ryder Hesjedal was one of only two Canadians (Michael Barry was the other). Hesjedal kicked it with the big dogs in the mountains and time trials, earning a 7th overall finish. Write “Hesjedal” on your 2011 calendar for next July.

Lance Armstrong’s string of odd luck continued, and he finished his final Tour - for real this time - 23rd. (I’d link his epic wreck footage on YouTube but the ASO has made a copyright claim to Tour de France-related video.)

LET IT OUT: Even smack talkin’ sprinters like Mark Cavendish are in touch with their feelings these days, crying on an international stage. Joel Stein got it right in his little piece in the July/August Women’s Health. Men are crying in public more than ever - a point lately evidenced by a slew of elite male athletes. Contador, winning his 3rd Tour de France, squeezed out a tear on the podium as well.

Better tears than rage. I’m thinking Floyd Landis could use a good cry. The man has issues. Turn that pointing hand around, brother. Mix in a little therapy. If it can work wonders for Ron Artest, it can work for you.

Speaking of rage, Carlos Barredo and Rui Costa had a fist fight after one of the hotter stages of the Tour de France. Not often you see that in cycling.

TIMBITS: Women in the Hockey Hall of Fame! A woman in the Tour de France! (Not racing but still, she’s the first female Ardoisier = motorcycle timekeeper.)

The Rapid City Rush will host the Central Hockey League’s 2011 All-Star game on January 12.

A 2007 survey listed Florida as the most dangerous state for cycling.

And for you readers in the Duke City, Brent Bookwalter of team BMC in the Tour de France was born in Albuquerque, NM. (These days, he’s living in Athens, GA.) While he finished far down in the overall standings, he got his 20 seconds of fame in a pre-stage interview during Versus’ Tour de France coverage. His notable success was placing 2nd in the Prologue (opening time trial) of the 2010 Giro d’Italia.

Posted in CHL, Cycling | No Comments »

Epic Summer

June 30th, 2010

Sweet Jesus. The Tour de France begins Saturday.

Lance is ready. He’s also twittered it’s his last TdF. But what could be as equally intriguing to see unfold as the rivalry between Contador and Armstrong, is the level of cooperation between Contador and Vinokourov.

BUSY BEE: I don’t remember the World Cup overlapping the Tour de France and being so close to Wimbledon. Chrissakes, I’ve barely recovered from the emotional NBA and Stanley Cup championships. Guess once the next event begins, the past is stale.

Some is worth recapping:

On June 9, the Stanley Cup Championship game was won (read: “ripped from the hearts of Philly fans on home ice”) by the Chicago Blackhawks. Jeremy Roenick and I cried with joy together for the team who last won the Cup 49 years ago.

On June 17, the Lakers beat the Celtics for the NBA Championship. This series drew tears too - from Derek Fisher - while Ron Ron thanked his psychiatrist, bless his heart. That’s a lot of tough emotional and physical work, man.

The World Cup in South Africa has been screaming along since June 11, which brings me to my latest hypothesis: Americans prefer football over soccer because, in a sense, football is a celebration of the powerof Fatman, while soccer is a celebration of the prowessof Fitman. The last thing the American man needs is his woman seeing, in slow-motion replays, Fitman running, Fitman diving for the ball, Fitman taking off his shirt after a game. Sweet Jesus.

SHIRTS-N-SKINS: If you appreciate the male physique and are a fan of Spain, Torres walking off the field shirtless after a 1-0 loss in the opening round made it all better. Just like when Donovan of the US nearly pushed his shorts off after the game when the referee waived the legitimate US goal.

Now i understand the point of cheerleaders. Skin makes it all better.

Why yes, he does fly. Watching replays of goaltenders making saves in soccer, the kind where they fly through the air all Eeeeaglllllle! is spectacular, eh? In basketball, they float up. In soccer, they fly over.

Does anyone else break into O Canada during Portugal’s anthem?

BAD CALL: I’m as frustrated as the next non-European fan (which is to say, a little less than European “football” fan). But there are factors to consider. No referee chooses to look like an idiot on an international stage, should he have a choice. Any human being can have a really, really bad day (Coulibaly looked like he had a cold. Antihistamines, perhaps?) A referee doesn’t have the option to say, “Man - i suck. Someone take over for me.”

Does every referee have the opportunity to gain the critical experience necessary to officiate at the level of the World Cup? He better. A couple seem to have less impressive resumes.

And while waiving a goal can have such significant consequences, both emotional and financial, so can not scoring a goal, or bobbling a save. We quickly forget something significant a player botched (unless he’s the last line of defense). How many chances did Ronaldo get before he got it right - sort of? We stay forever furious at a referee who does the equivalent. Since pay is often brought up in related topics, i’m betting Ronaldo earns more than a referee.

I totally back the whole “FIFA needs to get with the times and utilize goal-line technology to confirm goals.” Duh.

TIMBITS: Wondering what the heck the magic cure-all spray is at the World Cup? Me too. Here’s a pretty good explanation. Soccer trainers work apparent miracles with the stuff. It even heals the emotional scars that caused the player to dive in the first place. The label on that can says, “ER” (ego restorative).

Here’s what i found about players exchanging jerseys with opponents at the conclusion of a match.

It’s a given. Advertising is evil. This shouldn’t surprise us.

The Double-A Central Hockey League has merged with the International Hockey League for the 2010-11 season. The three-time defending IHL champion Fort Wayne Komets oughta stir up some good rivalries with the top dogs of the CHL….

True to my pursuit of things the less competitive “sports” fan might find interesting (it’s called gentle recruiting, folks), check out this amazing custom kite design website. It’s chock full of artistic lovelies, from gorgeous kites to vibrant art. Even nipples….

Posted in CHL, Cycling, General, NHL | No Comments »

Seasons in the Sun

May 27th, 2010

At long last, the moment we’ve all been waiting for arrives in June. Hold tight to your koozies, boyz. We got sports in 3-D! I’m hoping for a goalie’s eye view of the World Cup, which begins June 11.

If you have any interest at all in NHL hockey and haven’t yet tuned into the playoffs, you’ve missed some crazy excitement, amazing upsets, miraculous comebacks, etc. Tune in chrissakes! It’s down to the championship round! Blackhawks vs. Flyers. Whodathunk?

MR JONES: Perhaps in honor of a pro cycling season in full-swing, the April 19 premiere of Dhani Tackles the Globe featured Dhani Jones, a 235-ish pound NFL football player, training all of one week for a bike race in Italy called the Gran fondo del Monte Grappa.

If you’re a cyclist, the entertainment value of this is obvious. We’re talking a pro football player nearly twice the weight of a pro cyclist trying to crawl up a 27-kilometer hill (~17 miles) along a route that includes stretches of 10-percent grade.

FIXIE NATION: Cycling enthusiasts will have caught a couple suspicious details for a man plugged as having limited cycling experience. Dhani had no issues whatsoever with his clipless pedals - the kind your shoes lock into. He also sat upright on his bike to take off his jacket no-hands - a feat a person has typically spent significant mileage on a bike to acquire the balance for. Turns out Dhani’s been “riding all my life.” In fact, he rides a fixie bike to football practice rain, snow or sunshine.

BOOZE NEWS: Overlooking a second reference to Dhani, i discovered he endorses a new product called TY KU Sake. He says, “As an athlete, I love that TY KU Sake is all natural.” I recently had a chance to taste the stuff and it’s kinda sexy. The premium liqueur version is green and comes in a stylish bottle that illuminates when you pick it up. I know! Tastes melony and includes a bunch of antioxidant fruits like mangosteen and goji berry. ‘Bout half the usual calorie count.

BREAKING WIND: April 24 was the 1st Annual Roadrunner Classic bike race in Albuquerque, significantly impacted by that most evil goathead. See photos at HaassPhotoGraphics.

The most recognizable participants were four Garmin-Transitions riders from their U-23 development team, competing for a purse of $9K ($6K for the ladies - going to Durango’s Carmen Small). Albuquerque’s Luis Amaran won the big bucks in men’s. Earlier in the week, I passed the Wounded Warrior Cycling Team on a ride. Turns out they were training to compete in the Classic’s time trial.

The following weekend Lance Armstrong, Levi Leipheimer, and Dave Zabriskie battled 60+ mph winds in the Tour of the Gila. Even Lance claimed he might not have ever raced in similarly dramatic conditions. Regardless, Leipheimer finished on the high podium a second consecutive year.

Then it was off to the Tour of California, where competitors battled some of the precise weather conditions the race was rescheduled for May to avoid. Still, it’s better than the mayhem that is 2010 Giro d’Italia weather.

News from the ToC is Leipheimer didn’t win a fourth consecutive year, perhaps due to the altered placement of the race in the season. Lance crashed out altogether.

This Lance crashing business is intriguing. In seven Tour de France wins, Armstrong had to be one of the luckiest cyclists ever. Sure, they weren’t without incident and he had his crashes, but it wasn’t until he came out of retirement that he suffered the most common injury among cyclists - a broken collar bone - and he never once abandoned. In the ToC, he did what he Twittered was “a face plant,” sending him home before the race’s end.

My question is this: Why has Lance’s “luck” changed? Is it that he’s older? Less focused? More hesitant? Is he due for an appointment with the team sport psychologist?

Discuss amongst yourselves.

GOOD GUYS: On April 17, the Hunstville Havoc secured the Southern Professional Hockey League championship under the leadership of former CHL New Mexico Scorpions assistant coach (and Hockey Hall of Famer - look it up!) Randy Murphy, with a little help from former Scorpions defenseman Vladimir Hartinger and priceless support from equipment manager Paul Farias.

So, was this past season one to build on, or simply a miracle for the Phoenix Coyotes? I’m hoping the former. At the very least, their non-traditional fans discovered the thrill of backing the home team en masse. I attended my very first NHL game years ago in Phoenix, when more fans wore the away-team colors than not.

TIMBITS: Here’s where you want to look for the world’s most entertaining golfer (and i don’t mean in a Tiger sort of way), Steve Elkington, to provide free instructional golf tips and to interact with other golfers.

Posted in Cycling, General, NHL | No Comments »

Get Your Fresh Veggies Hee-ya!

April 2nd, 2010

March meant Spring Training baseball in Phoenix, AZ, to see how  Cactus League teams were shaping up. I’m talking Mariners, A’s, Brewers, Dodgers, Padres, Royals, Reds, etc.  Of the four teams i specifically choose to see, the A’s came closest to earning a W. (Sigh)

Let’s just say the C-Reds are looking sharp.

My buddy RoJo tells me whether the A’s stay in Oakland remains to be seen.

FOODIE SCOOP: The latest snack option in places like Camelback Ranch stadium and Maryvale is Island Noodles. Holy moly - an opportunity to get your daily veggies at a baseball game?! What’s this country coming to?

Seriously, it’s wok fried noodles with loads of broccoli, carrots, green beans, peppers, asparagus, yams - you name it. Good stuff. No worries about the sodium - you’ll sweat it out during the game.

If that leaves you hankering for another stop on Nutrition Lane, so to speak, order sweet potato fries at Goodyear stadium, where they’ve stretched the definition like Coke and Happiness, listing the fries under “Healthy” options.

“One more. One more!” your taste buds beg. That would be the garlic fries at Camelback Ranch. Mmm fresh garlic. Just ask my friends. If i could have breathed on Manny, his hit may have flown a couple more inches and out of the park. (See? I watched the game while i ate.)

By the way, Goodyear stadium is in Goodyear, AZ - wha? I assumed the business bought naming rights to the town in the last decade or so, when everything seems game for corporate sponsorship naming rights. Why not a town? Turns out while Goodyear is indeed named for the Goodyear Farms cotton industry (cotton was used to make tires), it’s been incorporated as such since 1946.

There’s a weekend’s-worth of games left, if you have time to chase down some spring. Good crowds this year. Or you could see the Mariners vs. Rockies in Albuquerque, NM April 2 & 3 (if the weather cooperates).

CYCLING (Sort of): If you’ve been feeling a hollow emptiness about the start of the cycling season with the Tour of California moved from February to May 16-23, there’s a trend of pre-season stage races in the Middle East emerging and they drew some quality names this year. Tour of Qatar (north of the UAE) was Feb 10 and included American sprinter Tyler Farrar, Canadian Svein Tuft (forgive me for re-using a link but this is the guy who was lured from a simple life of peddling through the wild to earning a paycheck for peddling through the countryside), and a man with impossible TT skills and a conscience, Fabian Cancellara, who stashed his empty GU wrapper in his jersey pocket rather than tossing it into the barren desert.

Otherwise, you’ve already missed the week-long Paris-Nice, won by Alberto Contador, as well as Lance and Contador both tanking - you might say - in the Criterium Internationale. Otherwise referred to as a mini-Tour de France, the CI included a wicked-hard climb everyone assumed Contador would conquer. Instead, he finished well behind the winner, reportedly suffering from allergies while Lance finished over 3 minutes behind Contador, still regaining his form after a bout of stomach issues.

Both put in a respectable time trial the following day. Overall, Contador placed 15th and Lance 47th. Seems March’s hero might be July’s zero as well…. Our man Chris Horner placed 7th.

Still plenty of Spring Classics to catch.

Two of my trigger-happy friends are already anticipating the Tour de France. That’s like asking if you’re ready for Christmas. One day at a time, sweet Jesus!

FULL DISCLOSURE: When it comes to magazines, i’m a packrat. Here’s my excuse: I was recently flipping through a 2005 issue of ESPN The Mag when i see a photo of a MotoGP rider and think, “Gee, that mischievous looking fella looks just like the cyclist i had my photo taken with at the Tour of California last year.”

Turns out it was none other than Nicky Hayden, indeed the MotoGP racer, who’d stopped by to check out the bike race. This blogger, who recognized Hayden there, chatted with him and said he seemed “down to earth.” In 2002 at 21 years old, Hayden became the youngest champion in the history of AMA Superbike.

See what i could have missed had i tossed that old issue?!

CHL: It’s playoff time! Tops dogs going in are Odessa, Rapid City, Colorado and the Allen Americans of TX. In other news, the CHL has assumed operations for the Arizona Sundogs until new ownership is secured.

Did anyone see the piece on the Today Show about Cameron Hughes, the professional crowd warmer, during the Olympics? I’d bet money he was at the Scorpions season opener a few years ago. I even scored one of the T-shirts he threw to the crowd. Should have had him autograph it. Hughes worked the Vancouver Winter Olympics and in addition to NHL arenas, hypes the crowds of minor league hockey venues. Catch him at a game in your neighborhood.

Enduring curiosities from the Vancouver Olympics:

Another hair separation at birth! Def Lepperd singer Joe Elliott and Russian Olympic figure skater Evgeni Plushenko, ya? Their faces are eerily similar as well.

We can all breathe a sigh of relief they found the missing stick and glove Crosby used to score the game winning goal vs. the US.

Props to US goaltender Ryan Miller for shaking the loss and enjoying the closing ceremonies.

Mmmm, Olympic coffee…. Vancouver Olympic bronze medalist in Women’s Freestyle Moguls, Shannon Bahrke, aka Mrs. Happe, sells coffee!

And these words of wisdom from Bode Miller: “You don’t have to define success the same way everyone else does.”

Amen, brother.

TIMBITS: Hula hooping does not cure the hiccups.

ANCIENT HISTORY: Here’s what my Saints cheerleader buddy, Jacqueline, had to say about the Super Bowl:

The game was generally incredibly intense and we could feel how high the stakes were. Thankfully, Darren Sharper’s pick-six put a nice bow on an amazing game and a Saints victory!!!

The coolest thing about the experience was just being on the field for the biggest sporting event in the US. It was incredible to see the hype and energy that surround the game, and then be dancing a few yards from the heart of it before kickoff. The Lombardi Trophy was carried away by Coach Sean Payton right in front of me!

Posted in CHL, Cycling, General | No Comments »

17 Days, 86 Events, 15 Disciplines and 153 Calories per Labatts

February 11th, 2010

Man I’m stoked the Saints won in the Super Bowl. Here’s why:

1 - There was a survey a few years back that confirmed the sort of person you are according to your favorite NFL team. We all know Raider fan is, well, Raider fan but Saints fans are fun. All 98 million or so. I’d supply the link, but i’d have to scroll down through 21,200,000 references to find one not related to the Super Bowl. That’s just not fun.

2 - The Saints have the bestest cheerleader of all. No, i’m not gonna introduce you. You’ll have to take my word for it.

3 - New Orleans is in my blood.

Props to Sean Payton for being creative, coaching his underdog team to the top with lay-it-on-the-line strategy making for not only a great game, but a dynamic game. Turns out creativity is Payton’s style.

Check out my favorite Super Bowl ad. OK so it’s not a Super Bowl ad, but it should have been. If it weren’t for Mark Sanchez assuring women who watch football they’re important to him, i’d have figured advertisers were hoping i was out getting a mani/pedi. Then again, the multiple ads of dolts in tighty not-so-whities didn’t portray men as all that, either.

So, i calculated the number of calories i consumed while watching the Super Bowl. Oh Yes I Did. I ate 100 calories each of corn chips, guacamole and melba toast, plus some hummus, most of a mini-cupcake (scraped off some icing), a spinach quesadilla with a sprinkle of cheese, a bunch of plain veggies, and drank two Abita beers. Total Damage = ~1,000 calories.

If you ate things like Doritos and Lit’l Smokies and drank Bud Light, your calorie intake was surprisingly comparable with an exercise in portion control. You did exercise portion control, right? Bit higher in saturated fats and orange food coloring. Lower in nutrients.

See how fun I am?

OLYMPIC NEWS: This just in - Shaun White’s hair and Bon Jovi’s hair were separated at birth.

The Jan/Feb 2010 issue of Outside magazine had some interesting Olympic profiles. Kris Freeman is the first person with Type I Diabetes to compete at the Olympic level in an endurance sport. Doesn’t stop the man from looking calendar-ready.

General Motors Place, where the Canucks play, will be renamed Canada Hockey Place during the Olympics. Meanwhile, the displaced Canucks will play the longest road trip in NHL history.

Here’s how USA women’s ice hockey superchik Angela Ruggiero has tweaked her diet to support that laser slap shot of hers. We’re talking powerful enough that she was the first female defenseman in a Double-A Central Hockey League game back in ‘05. Here’s what she had to say about the game [http://hockey.teamusa.org/athletes/angela-ruggiero]:

After the first period, we thought that was the end of it. But I was happy to be able to get back out there again in the third period and just be one of the boys again. On that last shift, the guys were telling me to jump into the play. Luckily, I was able to get my stick on the puck and set up that goal.

CYCLING ALREADY? While D.C. sits under a couple feet of snow, pro cyclists have the first major race of the 2010 season under their spandex waistbands. Lance (5′9.5″) wasn’t impressive in the Tour Down Under in January, finishing 25th overall. As my buddy Keith says, “January’s hero is July’s zero.” And since we know Lance to be July Man, all seems well in camp Armstrong.

In a recent interview on Versus, Armstrong said he wouldn’t be competing in the 2010 Tour de France if he didn’t believe he could win it.

Other noteworthy names in the TDU included George Hincapie (12th), Cadel Evans (6th), sprinter Robbie McEwen (4th), and our buddy Big Jens Voigt (6′2″).

TIMBITS: This from the 1/15 CHL presser:

The Wichita Thunder are a team in the rare spot of trying to stay out of the record books when they play the Allen Americans on Friday night in Texas.  The Thunder has lost 20 straight games, one shy of the CHL record set by the Memphis RiverKings in the 1999-2000 season.  Wichita has not won a game since Nov. 20 when they beat Arizona, 3-2, and have won just three times this season…. 

Checking the CHL web site, looks like the Thunder stamped themselves solidly in the record books by losing that game 4-2 (though it was on Saturday the 16th) and their next game as well. They did finally win their fourth game of the season on January 22, 4-1 against Tulsa. That’s a loooong season, Wichita. Might as well enjoy a Labatts.

Posted in CHL, Cycling, General, NHL | No Comments »

2000 and LATE

December 31st, 2009

Despite next-to-no accessible, live winter sports action in my world this season, Friday, December 19 was one of the very best sports nights of my life.

THAT’S WHAT I’M TALIN’ ‘BOUT: In a single evening of channel surfing with more appreciation for the spirit of competition than specific teams, i witnessed Wyoming overcome Fresno State 35-28 in double overtime at the New Mexico Bowl, the undefeated Lobos Men’s Basketball team rally in the second half to stay perfect over Creighton 66-61, the Toronto Sybils earn a 2-0 shutout against Boston, winning for the first time in eight match-ups against the Bruins (props to goalie Gustavsson), and the Cowboys hand the unbeaten Saints their first loss of the season, 24-17.

No one in his right mind wants to risk going to the Super Bowl unbeaten.

It was almost as awesome as seeing two Cactus League Spring Training baseball games and a hockey game all in one day. But nothing beats the in-person experience.

UPDATES: Speaking of the Coyotes, given their absence in the playoffs since 2002, it’s safe to assume they don’t generally win those March games i attend during Spring Training. Kevin Allen says that’s about to change. Indeed, they’re aiming for a franchise record-setting, 11th straight home-ice win this New Year’s Eve.

The Lobo Men suffered their first loss of the season against Oral Roberts, 75-66, on December 23.

The Bruins will play in the NHL’s 2010 Winter Classic outdoor game New Year’s Day at Fenway Park against the Flyers. Catch the nostalgia on NBC. That’d be a good one to see live, where you could tend that holiday hangover by gently rocking your pounding forehead on cold, cold ice.

CYCLING QWACK: I’d encourage anyone hankering to know what pro cyclists are up to this pre-season to sign on with Twitter if you have the time. Makes good bedtime reading.

While i’m guessing select athletes in more lucrative sports have a supporting cast to post to their “personal” web sites, Facebook accounts and Twitter, the vast majority of pro cyclist tweets seem authentic. They reflect all sorts of entertaining bits about what the guys encounter in the off season, what a pre-season training ride entails (many miles in far-away lands and less-than-optimal weather), and a glimpse into the world of prolific international travel.

How those guys don’t lose their minds…. I take it back. They do lose their minds. And their luggage. And bikes.

Recent tweets reveal Lance Armstrong is taking yoga (he is, after all, 38 years old now). Ted King bought his mom a Snuggie for her birthday. Dave Zabriskie had a “day of good deeds” finding someone’s wallet, giving a Clif Bar to someone with an empty tank, and teaching “a girl how to shift the bike.” Still, his lovely wife has nixed him growing back the ’stache.

TIMBITS: Ever heard of the Pajama Men? If not, i’m betting you will. The two Crazies put on a wacky-n-wonderful show in November at a small venue in Albuquerque. I’m still walking around imitating them a month later and that, my friends, makes me seem odd.

Wishing an amazing 2010 to you all. I’ll be spending New Year’s Eve on snowshoes under a blue moon in the Valles Caldera. Hope to see you there.

Cheers!

Posted in Cycling, General, NHL | No Comments »

Man, I love college

November 22nd, 2009

Female referee... representin'! Fat apologies for my lapse of monthly posts. Once again, i’m challenging the world of academia to teach me something good - way good. Of course, quality comes with a price and that price is the consumption, metabolism, and synthesis of ATP (click on the link. i dare you) and the excretion of all my “free” time.

SCHOOLIN’: If you haven’t already guessed, i’m taking Exercise Science and Human Anatomy & Physiology + Lab.

Wait wait! I money-back-guarantee if you stick around, you’ll read an amusing tidbit or two in the next few lines.

Let’s start with sports fans. Most of us fanatics have heard some version of the explanation that we love sports ’cause essentially, we imagine ourselves as the athletes while we’re caught up in the passion of the game. Now there’s proof. Cutting-edge research explains that “Mirror Neurons” are probably why we’re addicted to sports. Starts out a little cheesy, but here’s a good explanation and some entertaining monkey and sports fan footage (can you can tell which is which?).

On to the fitness crowd. In my A&P lab - i kid you not - Activity 7 of the Muscular System chapter says:

Choose a male student to be “muscle painted.” Obtain brushes and water-based paints from the supply area while the “volunteer” removes his shirt and rolls up his pant legs. Using different colored paints, identify the muscles listed here by painting his skin. If a muscle covers a large body area, you can opt to paint only its borders.

Man i like college! My question is, who paid this “volunteer” ’cause i assure you, the boy works out. (Just kidding. Our instructor told us to skip this activity. For real though, it’s in the lab manual.)

Finally, i’m catching all sorts of biology references in the world around me. You know how it works - once you’re looking for them…. For example, in the wise words of Bonnie Raitt, “We can choose you know we ain’t no amoeba.”

HOCKEY AFAR: So - is anyone paying the season-ticket price to have televised access to as many Central Hockey League games as you can stand to watch? Three Benjamins, to be precise. I’m dying to know how many fans have signed up.

Paul Farias: Backup duties New Mexico Scorpions fans with less hockey to watch this season can check in on former Scorpions coach Randy Murphy and former Scorpions Equipment Manager assistant-type, now the Equipment Manager, Paul Farias, working in Huntsville, Alabama.  As of November 18, the Havoc are tied for first in the Southern Professional Hockey League, a sweet, 7-team league in its sixth season. Since you asked, Farias is a Chicago native who moved to New Mexico before Huntsville. Talk about a tri-cultural experience, eh?

TIMBITS: Props to female NBA referee Violet Palmer. The first female to officiate at the “majors” level of US professional sports (they are very few and very far between), it turns out she’s been there over a decade. Having recently retired as an ice hockey referee of kids’ and co-ed adult games, i’ll attest it can be a pretty cool experience - if you’re up for a challenge. No giant ego required.More representin' for female officials

Props also to the New Mexico Lobos football team for earning its first win in over a year, 29-27 against CSU - as predicted. Had a female linesman working that game as well.

Someone recently said to me, “Wow - i can’t believe how soon the Olympics begin.” They weren’t kidding. So if you haven’t solidified Easter plans, you’re too late.

Personally, i’m looking forward to some Olympic sledge hockey.

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Life Before the Fall (Autumn, that is)

September 3rd, 2009

Bolinas Ridge Trail, CA

Have you noticed Mondays are the only thing with the power to overcome the Sunday Blues? (We’re in a drug-free zone here.) What say we just relax and enjoy ourselves, then?

If that doesn’t do the trick, check this out (your life is not complete until you do).

CURRENT EVENTS: The Vuelta a Espana (Tour of Spain) is underway with the noted absence of defending champ Alberto Contador. Guess his top spot on the podium at the Tour de France was enough. That, and he’s busy scoping out new team options for 2010.

Versus isn’t covering the Vuelta much at all, but Universal Sports is. Unfortunately, Chris Horner was forced to drop out after a massive crash decimated the peloton.

On August 15, Lance Armstrong won the Leadville 100 (miles, that is) mountain bike race in Colorado, shattering 6-time winner Dave Wiens’ opportunity to win a whopping seven times. I’m thinking Lance just wants to own the whole “I won seven” thing. He’s mighty big into numbers. Wiens beat Lance by about two minutes in 2008 but this time, Lance had Tour training under his belt.

Right! Those guys finished the race in under seven hours so for the fun of it, i thought i’d calculate how long it’d take me. Having done so, I’m gonna guess about 15 hours - well over the 12-hour cutoff time that shuts down literally a third of the participants before they finish (or succumb to delirium).

Training for Leadville? They say the race has some technical patches (and 14,000 feet of elevation change) but i can do technical and elevation, even if it means i have to walk. Still, considering the distance of the race and how i’m affected by fatigue, i’ll admit that realistically, i’d finish in about 20 hours and no less than six hissy fits.

NATURE BREAK: Just after Lance left Leadville, i busied myself along the Bolinas Ridge Trail, on the San Andreas Fault not far from the coast of California. A 1,000-foot elevation gain is what faced me there, with next-to-no technical challenges other than a rental bike two sizes too big and no clipless pedals. Perfect weather. Check it out if you’re in the area.

Vino is keeno!And how cool is this concept? Longboard Vineyards combines the best of two worlds in Healdsburg, CA.

TOUR OF IRELAND: International Pro Cycling is absolutely one of those sports with a decided absence of Black athletes. So you could say this guy is a ground-breaking cyclist (with a heavy history). Adrien Niyonshuti of Rwanda raced his first European race in the Tour of Ireland late August, where he rubbed shoulders with the likes of Lance Armstrong and sprinting phenom Mark Cavendish. Not a bad way to spend your rookie race. Here’s his team profile.

The ToI was Lance’s final race of his (unpaid) season on Astana. In an interview, he said he’d enjoy a beer with Niyonshuti, whose mentor is Jock Boyer, the first American ever to ride in the Tour de France. Wonder if that beer came to be….

Part of the fun of watching the ToI on Versus was the snarky commentating of Gary Imlach, who says things like how this season ends the “shotgun menage a trois” between Lance, Team Astana and teammate Alberto Contador. Imlach also praised Cavendish for “earning his team some alcohol” after winning a stage. Cavendish had said the team might have a glass of wine to celebrate the stage win.

Incidentally, Lance and Cavendish (as well as Niyonshuti and literally half the peloton) abandoned the race in the third and final stage, in pouring rain, just before St. Patrick’s Hill with its 25-percent gradient. Imlach’s comment about the climb was it “separated the men from the visiting superstars.”

TIMBITS: I’m getting the sense from my Entourage that what the ladies want to know about the wide world of sports this week is, what ever happened with Michael Vick? As of August 14, he’s back on the field with the Philadelphia Eagles.

One such Entourage member brought to my attention the story of Michael’s younger brother, Marcus, who apparently had the talent of Michael but couldn’t handle the pressure that accompanies it. Instead, Marcus has spent the past few years in a variety of legal struggles. Considering all that, Michael is handling his fame surprisingly (cough) well.

Into participatory sports but not so keen on roller derby? Check out the Albuquerque Hoopers.

Happy Fall Folks. Enjoy the weather.

Posted in Cycling, General | No Comments »

The Good the Bad and the Ugly: Le Tour and Other Summer Fun

July 31st, 2009

 Strike!

They say we never remember who wins second place.

I’m betting the average American will not only remember who placed third, but might believe he in fact won.

Of course I’m talking about Lance Armstrong, who will likely, as he repeatedly does, buck odds by lingering in the minds of news-watching (though not cycling enthusiast) Americans as having won the 2009 Tour de France after coming out of retirement.

For real - Contador's in yellow (shades)He did ride hella-good. To finish third after aging four years, plus the broken collar bone a little over three months before the Tour, is phenomenal. But in reality, Armstrong finished behind Andy Schleck, who placed second to Armstrong’s teammate (and rival) Alberto Contador.   

Back in September, hearing of Lance’s come-back, i mentioned losing respect for athletes who retire and then return to their sport. Gotta admit Armstrong’s presence made the Tour more riveting than i’d figured.

Sir JohanWay to go Lance for increasing Tour viewership over 50-percent this year and securing a new American team sponsor for next season in RadioShack (with Johan Bruyneel at the helm, of course). I can hardly wait for 2010. 

Until then, I suppose it wouldn’t make as good a story for Lance and Contador to follow the leadership of Cavendish and Hushovd and end their spitting contest. Sure, Contador was selfish in the Tour but from what i remember, a certain Texan was equally so at a comparable age - “brash” and “headstrong” being two commonly-used words describing the pre-cancer Lance.

A SHOUT-OUT TO MY PEEPS: Samuel Dumoulin was the Tour’s smallest cyclist, at 5′ 2.5″ and a buck twenty. That didn’t stop him from carrying his fair share of the workload in several breakaway attempts, including one for the final stage in Paris. [Photo included to indicate his height on the podium in relation to the woman not on a step - not her panties. Bonus!]

Ryder Hesjedal was representin’ for Canada, finishing 49th in his second Tour of duty. In his blog, Hesjedal described how his teammate, Julian Dean, suffered one of the more odd incidences in this year’s Tour:

My teammate, Julian Dean, was unbelievably shot at with an air gun during today’s stage and was hit in the hand. It goes without saying that it’s not something you really expect in a cycling race. Maybe it was kids being stupid or we’d hit a small French town that had never seen the Tour and decided to open fire on a moving peloton, but anyone having that kind of intent is scary. Who knows what the meaning of that was?

In the breakaway on the Champs Elysees was Japan’s Fumiyuki Beppu. He and Yukiya Arashiro were the first Japanese to complete the Tour, ever.

Yauheni Hutarovich illustrated his mad time-keeping math skillz by earning the oddly strategic Lanterne Rouge (dead last overall). Hooty presumably stashed his remaining energy for the final stage in Paris, placing 5th in the sprint.

NOW I’M DONE: Alas, my prediction about Randy Murphy going to Colorado has gone unsupported. He’s accepted the coaching job in Huntsville. That goes for all y'all!

Albuquerque hockey fans felt abandoned long ago, but unfortunate for all 500 Rio Rancho fans, the Scorpions go dark for the upcoming season [Team Presser, 7/2/09]:

The New Mexico Scorpions have announced they will not take the ice for the 2009-2010 season. The current ownership group was unable to secure additional investors to make the coming season a possibility….

Ownership will continue to pursue the sale of the team in hopes to have hockey back at the Santa Ana Star Center in the future. All current players will immediately become free agents.

Luckily, Blades can fit about 500. As i’ve mentioned, it’ll host the NM Renegades Junior hockey team in 2009-10.

Throws... like a girl?C’MON, BOB: I’m wondering when Bob Costas last lived in a small market city with limited access to Big League personalities. Tasteless though it may be, I attended one of the games Banny Ramirez made an appearance in at Isotopes Park in Albuquerque. Why not? Didn’t cheer for him or anything.

TIMBITS: [Oh no she didn't!] If you’re still stumped on how to effectively dress your junk, I recently saw this helpful Trojan Ecstasy commercial on the teli. Gosh - some of us didn’t get that kind of information outside of a California Sex Ed. class!

Posted in CHL, Cycling, General | No Comments »

Boom Boom Pow!

June 23rd, 2009

Lemme guess - lottery winner?

Heed this warning from Ken Campbell of The Hockey News: Unless you happen to be extraordinary, whatever you do, don’t cash in that winning lottery ticket! In the Oct. 14 2008 issue of THN, Campbell said,

…the Penguins have as much of a chance of winning the Stanley Cup in 2009 as most ordinary folk do getting hit by lightning on the way to cashing in their winning lottery ticket.

IF ANYONE CAN, PITTSBURGH CAN:

The last road team to win Game 7 of the championship round in any major league was the 1979 Pittsburgh Pirates.

And the last team to lose in the final round and come back to win the Stanley Cup the following year was Edmonton, way back in 1984. Indeed, most teams that lose in the final tank entirely the following season.

Even if you’re not the world’s most dedicated hockey connoisseur (or into sports much), there were a few noteworthy items about the Stanley Cup Championship game between Detroit and Pittsburgh:

ONE: At the start of the season, Marian Hossa forwent a fat paycheck with the Penguins to skate among Redwings, aka The Enemy after last year’s Championship battle between the two, for less than 25-percent of what the Penguins paid him.

Hossa gambled that was his best chance to win the Stanley Cup. Of course, he’s not the first guy to jump teams with the sole purpose of being on a Championship team. Ray Bourque did it with Colorado and won. Those were both strong teams for sure. Still, it’s quite a gamble, isn’t it? Anything can happen in a season.

For Hossa, the gamble seemed less risky. Most people in the world of hockey agreed Detroit would skate off with the Cup again and as Campbell asserted, the likelihood was slim that Pittsburgh would make a repeat appearance in the final round. The Penguins did start the season strong, but then choked. It looked like they wouldn’t even make the playoffs until they made a coaching change - to a rookie coach no less. But it worked.

After the game, I watched the handshake line closely to see if any of Hossa’s former teammates whispered, “Sucks to be you, man.” They didn’t. It was too obvious.

WORST TO FIRST: On the flip side from Hossa, Bill Guiren came to Pittsburgh from the Islanders, sitting in last place at the trade deadline. No gammble there. Just crazy luck.

TWO: At the start of Game 7, the camera caught the face of Ruslan Fedotenko on the Pittsburgh bench. Did you see it? He looked relaxed. He looked like he was happy to be there and not in an over-excited, hyper, “Here we go here we go you can do it you can do it” way. Not with a nervous, “Dear god one single error and we’re so hosed” look.  All over his face was written, “We have a chance. We truly have a chance. We’re gonna enjoy the game and maybe we’ll win.” I believed him. And they did. In Detroit.

THREE: Ever heard of the EA Sports cover curse?

While it’s not quite the same, during Game 7 of the Stanley Cup final, NBC aired an EA Sports ad featuring amateur athletes who feel just like the pros when they play EA Sports games. It included a girl playing hockey in her Red Wings jersey, followed by footage of the Wings holding the Cup.

Advertisers commonly shoot two versions of ads for championship games. As soon as the game is over, the ad featuring the winning team is played, like everyone knew all along which team it’d be. For the Stanley Cup final, the ad ran during the game.

NOoooo! EA cuuurse! You know how that story played out.

Who plays an ad like that before the champion is determined?! What was EA Sports thinking? Indeed, Pittsburgh wrote their own history, as Penguins coach Dan Bylsma encouraged them to. Did EA Sports have a hand in writing Detroit’s? I’m just sayin’.

CONGRATS: To Bylsma. I wonder how his career will play out from here, having won in his very first season what other coaches and players work their faces off for their entire careers.

And to Max Talbot, who earned both of Pittsburgh’s Game 7 goals. You just know he’s had this scenario in his head since he was seven:

Game seven of the Stanley Cup finals. Talbot skates in with the puck and SCORES! Talbot has single-handedly won his team the Stanley Cup! [crowd on feet, cheering wildly]

Of course, it was a team effort to earn the Cup. But when you’re seven, it’s all about YOU.

The road to AlbuquerqueTIMBITS: Manny Ramirez will be swingin’ bats for the Triple-A Albuquerque Isotopes this week. I’ll let you know if the crowd cheers or jeers….

Next up - Tour de France! Good thing he’s outta retirement. As of June, Lance has another kid to support (that’s #4, this time with girlfriend Anna Hansen).

Posted in Cycling, General, NHL | No Comments »

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